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Guardianship: who would raise your kids?

By Tribu · Published 17 July 2026 · Last reviewed 24 July 2026

It is the one question every parent circles and almost no one finishes. If you were not there, who would raise your children, and would anyone actually know your answer?

This is not a to-do list, and it is not advice. It is a few things worth thinking about, and a conversation worth having.

What a guardian actually is

A guardian is the person who would raise your children if you could not: the daily care, and the big calls about how they grow up. In a will, the role is called a testamentary guardian. It generally applies only if both parents have died, or the surviving parent cannot care for them. State Trustees Victoria describes it as making the major lifestyle decisions for a child under 18.

You name them, but a court has the final say

The place to record your choice is your will. MoneySmart lists it plainly among the things a will covers: who will look after your children if they are under 18. You can name one person, or more than one.

What surprises most parents is that this is a strong steer, not a binding instruction. Guardianship of children sits under the federal Family Law Act 1975, so if your choice were ever disputed, a court would decide on the child's best interests at the time. It takes your wishes seriously, and if a child is old enough to have a view of their own, that can count too. But the final say sits with the court. The finer detail also varies between states and territories, so it is worth checking how yours works.

The conversation people skip

A name is not a yes. The person you have in mind can decline, and if you have never asked, they could be finding out at the worst possible moment.

If no one is named, a court decides instead. Anyone with a sufficient interest can apply, which can be slow, costly, and sometimes fought over by people who all love your children.

A name is only the start

Choosing the person is the beginning, not the end of it. Where they live matters: would they move to your children, or your children move to them, and does that actually work? And if you are thinking of your own parents, factor in their age. You can always update a will, but most people set it once and never revisit it, so the choice needs to still make sense years down the track.

Where the decision lives

For any of this to hold, the choice has to be written into a valid will, not just talked about. That is usually drawn up by a solicitor or estate planner. And the people who would step in need to know the will exists, and where to find it.

Naming a guardian is a strong steer, not the final word.

Tribu shares things worth thinking about, not personal, financial, or legal advice. For your own situation, please speak with a qualified professional.

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